Saturday, June 5, 2010

Clients, We Got Clients

I don't really know what happened.  Just a couple of news reports that caught my eye.  One local, one from far off Wenatchee, Washington.  I don't know that they teach anything much, though I suppose I could derive lessons from each.  I don't know that they have anything much in common, either.
But these are, after all, our clients (not mine, however).  And it's maybe worth keeping track.
Here in Toledo, we learn from The Blade (its claim to be "One of America's Great Newspapers" becoming more and more credible as the number of America's newspapers continues to shrink) that police were chasing suspected bank robber Donovan Jacobs who was "fleeing" in his own car.  Later (the details seem a bit fuzzy, but apparently police didn't capture him) Jacobs was seen driving in a stolen car.  At some point (perhaps a traffic light?), Jacobs stopped.  When police approached to arrest him as a suspect in the bank robbery, Jacobs took off briefly before shooting himself in the head.
Not fatally, however.
Meanwhile, Gavin Stanger of East Wenatchee was booked into the local lockup having, it seems, turned himself in to serve his three days for misdemeanor disorderly conduct.  Police did their job.  Pat down followed by strip search.  Dee Riggs, staff writer for the Wenatchee World (another of America's Great Newspapers?) fills us in on what happened next.
About 90 minutes later, with Stanger in a single holding jail, a jailer found a plastic bag and duct tape floating in the cell’s toilet.
OK, you'd ask questions, too.  Stanger came, er, clean.
Coming in rectally — via one person — were a green cigarette lighter, cigarette rolling papers, a golf-ball size baggie of tobacco, a bottle of tattoo ink, eight tattoo needles, a one-inch-long smoking pipe and a small baggie of suspected marijuana, said Sgt. John Kruse, a Wenatchee Police Department spokesman.
“We were all wondering, ‘How do you put all that up there?’ ” Kruse said. “The tobacco was pretty impressive; it was a good ounce.”
Me, I'm more impressed by the ink and the needles, but then I don't have the degree of experience with rectally-stored contraband that Sergeant Kruse perhaps does.
Perhaps not surprisingly, Stanger faces more charges.

1 comment:

  1. In that vein, here's a local story from yesterday about a guy I'm waiting to hear from:

    "According to a police report, the highly intoxicated Elkhart man was taken to the Mishawaka police station by a taxi cab driver who had picked up the 26-year-old from the Wander Inn bar.

    The cab driver told police that he had picked up the man and driven him to Elkhart, then back to Mishawaka, as the passenger couldn’t decide where he wanted to go.

    The cab driver, fearing that his passenger had no money, then took the Elkhart man to the police station, asking that he be charged with theft of services.

    The man told police that he didn’t carry any money on him and couldn’t pay the $45 in cab fare that he owed.

    Police said they tried to have the man call a friend to bring him the money. After he refused, police arrested him instead, accusing him of theft and public intoxication.

    At the jail, police reported discovering marijuana and prescription painkillers inside a cigarette package, leading to additional drug possession charges.
    Police also found, after searching a hidden pocket in the man’s wallet, a $50 bill — enough money to cover the man’s cab fare."